It's the Best of Times. It's the Worst of Times!

Charles Dickens had it right. I think it was Charles Dickens anyway! This past week was a full moon...a harvest moon! It was overcast all week so that moon was never really seen by me but it didn't matter! People let you know that the moon is full! My daughter calls and lets me know that her week was the same. The moon hangs over Ohio I guess as well.

The best of times are this: I am about to turn a corner in my life. This November, I will turn 60 years old which sounds horrid so I have to practice saying it and writing it. I am, however, healthy and have so many things to be thankful for. My 50's were amazing. I stretched myself past anywhere I ever thought I would be. My job has been a pure joy. My daughters both completed college, got great jobs and are successful in their own rights. Jim and I talk seriously about retirement and it's getting easier to fathom.

The worst of times are this: I have so many things that I can see. Things that I wish were! I feel time moving so fast and this sense of urgency. Not for me though! I see it for kids today! I feel as though my two daughters moved into the world at a time when there were choices. I feel as though there are fewer and fewer choices for kids now at a time when it appears on the surface that we are inundated with stuff! Kids have plenty of "stuff" but what they will not have perhaps is a career! What happens if our kids go into the world unable to do those 21st Century things that are written about so much? What if parents object to changing the way things used to be? What happens if they don't see this thing coming? What happens if they see it but don't believe it? How do we move forward in a world that is scared of change?

Don't Think You're So Good!

Words my mom said to me when I was a freshman in college! She had dreamed of many things in her life and settled for being married and raising kids...two things she thought of completely as tasks! Nether fulfilled her dreams! I think she gained satisfaction from squashing other people's dreams then.

I am reading a book called The Element by Sir Ken Robinson. He speaks of working to find your dreams, not letting anyone talk you out of doing what you love and how it's really never too late to realize that you may have unfulfilled dreams.

I'm thinking that my dream was to be an educator because I have spent my life doing it and I have enjoyed it. Most of the time! As I truly reflect on the years though, my mother's voice haunts me..."Don't think you're so good!" For as much I have worked hard at my jobs, I'm never convinced that I have done the job justice. I believe that there are many who could have done a better job of it. Whatever "it" is.

So has education been my element? Or do I spend so much time reading, learning, seeking knowledge because I am always fearful that I'm not good enough?

Sir Ken Robinson points out that many do not discover their element until they have reached a time in their lives when they can relax from the pressures of raising children and building a career. Perhaps I am ready to go in search of my element. Once and for all, I would like to shut out my mother's voice!

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changing!

Here we go again...changing seasons...changing school years...changing practices! The best and the worst part of spending my career in the field of education is that nothing ever stays the same! Unfortunately, for some, there is an attempt to keep what they can consistent while the students change every year. But for those who try this route, there is a growing disconnect with students with each passing year. Then, some will blame the students...Kids are so different today...They used to be more respectful!

I have been at this gig for over 30 years now and the one thing that I know for sure is kids are still kids! It is us who grow further away from them! So, it becomes necessary then for us to stay relevant to them!

I have loved my job because I have embraced this idea all along. Enjoy change! You might as well! It's going to happen anyway!

Fun Web 2.0 Tool

https://cacoo.com/diagrams/2a10a3QNW20mud5d

I found a web 2.o too that is called Cacoo. It is a simple way to develop diagrams so I used it to sketch out a plan for the upcoming task force that I have been assigned to facilitate this next year.

I'm checking now to see how it transfers to another location so here goes!

Administrator Retreat!

I always thought that the word "retreat" meant to leave reality for awhile. Escape into something else!

Well then, our Administrator Retreat is missnamed! We do not "retreat" from work at all but instead renew our focus all together, this year once again in Green Lake! The topic was Change ... how people deal with it ...how we acknowlege individual issues with it...how we, as leaders guide that journey!

Three days of sharing has now brought us all to a renewed "moral purpose"! We know that our journey in leadership is to maintain a focus on what's best for kids but sometimes we forget that in order to get what's best for kids we have to nurture the adults who work with them.

We have to see the adults as individuals who are dealing with the current changes in their own way. Some of them will embrace the change quickly while others grieve or battle. In some cases, we have spent too much time assisting those who battle change and we forget the one's who have quietly journeyed forward. It's time to recognize them, celebrate their successes, spend time in their presence. They need us right now as much if not more than those who struggle. And we have many, many teachers who are new to the profession. They need to know how they fit into to the greater scheme of things. They want to belong. We have to help them remain focused on the moral purpose; encourage their efforts, celebrate their successes. They will struggle from time to time and could easily become disallusioned and angry unless we stay close. And once again, we have to acknowledge those who are battling. It could be that they are struggling with letting go of a past that was, in fact, not bad but good; a past that had worked for other students, seemingly well. We need to remember that we all entered education with a desire to serve and this group of teachers, like all others, work with a belief that they are doing what is best for kids. We need to listen to their stories and help them say good bye to dated practices with a sense of appreciation and grace.

We also learned that we need to recognize that all of us process and make decisions based on brain patterns that may be different. For one, a decision to move forward may seem logical which makes rapid change seem simple. For others, the decision may seem monumental so there needs to be a process that allows for analysis and contemplation. They may need to watch others experience the change first so that they can judge the results in a calmer, more deliberate manner.

The greater danger, for us, in the world today, is to stay in a place because we think we are great; too good to need to change. If infact, life is about change then we need to practice changing little things to big things. We need to look critically at everything - view everything as potentially changable - because people/companies who fail often say they "didn't see it coming!" It could have been because they were basking in their sense of greatness!

So, this year, we did not "retreat" from work exactly but infact we did. We left behind the busyness of day to day so that we could focus once again on our purpose. We did indeed retreat! And we also came away with renewed convictions to work together to help our staff through today's trials. As a team, we can do great things! The first of which is to care about each other! The second will be to continue the journey of learning and growing day after day!

A Three Week Rollercoaster Ride

Three weeks ago today, I received a call saying that my brother had had a heart attack and was being taken to a small hospital close to his hometown. This brother is 18 months older than me. I have many memories of my time with him. Not all of them good! But this is my brother and he just had a heart attack.

I am supposed to present at the board meeting in a few hours but my brain can't focus on work right now. Instead I go home and call my sister who is already at the small hospital and she is crying. They don't think he will survive! They need to transport him to UW Hospital if he is going to have any chance at all! He may not survive the ride though!

I tell my sister that I will meet her at UW Hospital.

Disbelief. . .but not, desire to support my sister at least,

frustration by the dysfunction of our family.

I was joined by his two daughters, his estranged wife and my sister. We spend the night answering questions about him, about his life style (not good)...and we listen as they tell us that they don't know how long his brain went without oxygen, whether there is any brain activity at all or how much damage has been done to his heart. They prepped us to say good bye.

Anger at him for not caring enough to see how people loved him and belief that he had been fortunate to die an easy death.

We all went home when he was as stable as he was going to get so that we could get some much needed sleep. They asked if we wanted them to restart his heart if it stopped again. We said "Don't do anything heroic." We reconvened early the next morning to find out that his heart had started beating on it's own and because of that, they proceeded with a procedure to place two stints into two blocked arteries. The surprise of that left us with a numbness of "Ok but what if there is no brain activity?"

Cautious celebration and fear!

His daughters said, "We know that he hasn't been the best dad but he's the only dad we will ever have!" Yes, but if he can't be independent, in his own way, he will just be an angry bitter man and he will blame us. Yes but right now he's alive and we think he smiled when he heard our voices. Maybe, maybe not!

Anxiety, cautious hope?

Seemingly short time passes and, yes indeed, he is aware. He can squeeze our hands when we ask. He wants to talk but tubes won't allow. Shortly after, the heart pump is disconnected. His heart is pumping on it's own! They are saying that he is a miracle man. "You know, he died twice!" Quickly, too quickly, they are ready to dismiss him from the hospital. How can this be? This is the man that you said died twice just a couple of days ago and now you are ready to send him to another facility? Why yes...he is very fortunate...they found a bed available at a rehab hospital. He'll be just fine there. They will help him with his memory and physical therapy.

New anxiety, fear, guarded thankfullness!

One week into rehab and his long term memory is solid. His short term memory is coming back. He walks, a bit unstable but yet he walks. He dislikes hospital food and he's vocal about it! The old curmudgeon is coming back! We have told him repeatedly about the details of his heart attack. He doesn't remember from time to time though. He has been told that he can no longer drink and smoke if he wants to live. He's listening...maybe!

Resolution that his is going to live...

A weekend pass and word that he is too good to stay in rehab after tomorrow!!! What? Three weeks since the day he "died" and now he is going home? Well, brother, you are a walking miracle! You were brought back here for a reason. There is something more you are to do with your life! "What is it do you think?" he asks. I don't know brother but as for me it's already happened. You brought our family together again in the same room. You gave your daughters time to realize what you have meant to them...even though...and you made me realize that you are indeed loved not just by them but by me as well!

Second chances are opportunities to make things right!

Cautious hope but acceptance (of him) too!

So That's the Background. Now Who Am I?

Do you ever wonder how you got to where you got?

I got average grades in school was no superstar anything. And yet...my senior year, I was chosen to head up the Year Book Committee and got the lead role in the school musical!

My mother said "Girls don't need to go to college. They end up just getting married and having babies anyway!" And yet...I not only went to college, I was the first in my family to get a college degree, not to mention a master's degree.

My first semester of college, I failed the math class. And yet...I went on to end with a 3.2 grade point average!

My first job out of college was as an Educational Assistant with Dane County Special Education. The Director, Ken McRoberts, did not have a teaching job for me. And yet...by the end of the first year I had my own classroom!

I planned on teaching for three years, getting my life certification and then doing as my mom had predicted...stay home and have babies! And yet...35 years later I am still working full time in education.

I always planned on making the right decisions. Instead...I have settled for accepting the belief that I think I have made the best decision for the time.

Education has been my journey, not only as a career but as a personal trip. And very little of my education, in the end, has taken place inside a classroom or been directed by a certified teacher! I want to say that I have been influenced by powerful people - not perhaps all in the eyes of the world but certainly in my eyes. And not all of them as positive experiences but certainly memorable ones! Every book you read, every speaker you listen to, every boss you work for, every person you work next to, your friends and family, children and adults all are part of the learning journey.

By all predictions based on my lack luster performance as a K-12 student and lack of family interest in higher education, I shouldn't have gone where I went! But I did it anyway!