So, my focus changed a bit during this time period of my career from being focused on making sure that teachers stayed happy to making sure that kids stayed happy! I waffled. I couldn't exactly tell who came first on most days.
There were days that the kids were frustrating the teachers so I would grab the biggest offenders and bring them into my office so the teacher could have some respite. The student and I would spend some quality time bonding and in the end we would both be pretty happy with the time spent. The surprise to me was that this seemed to upset the teacher! "Why is this student leaving your office happy? This student had made a mess of my lesson, my class and now he is happily leaving your office! What do the two of you do anyway? Eat candy and tell jokes???"
I was, undeniably surprised by this at first. I had thought that I was helping the teacher...giving the teacher a break from a student who was obviously pushing her buttons! I should have realized that the teachers really wanted a principal who would punish "bad" children! Of course, the breadbags were evidence of that!
Even the kids, sometimes wondered about me! One student spent a great deal of time in my office. I would calmly try to discuss each situation as it occurred. This kid finally said "Why don't you just face it. I come from a fighting family!" My response was "Well, I don't! So we have a problem!"
More than anything, I saw kids who would get upset about an injustice. Just as we all would. They wanted to be listened to. They wanted to be respected. It reminded me of a book that my own kid's nursery school teachers recommended to us as parents. It was called "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk". It was a book that changed my parenting forever and it was definitely the philosophy I went into administration with.
A couple of years later, after I had earned my stripes at this first school, one teacher said "Your style is completely like Jim Fey's Love and Logic." I didn't know what that was at the time. Based on her suggestion, I ordered some tapes and books and as a staff, we began the Love and Logic journey towards working respectfully with kids.
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